Been seeing a man for a few weeks. We get on famously. He seems kind, has his life sorted. I want to see more of him.

Last night he seemed nervous and told me he wanted to be honest and confess something. The something was that fifteen years ago he had sex with an ex-FWB when she was paralytic drunk and he was sober. Apparently he gave her a lift home after a work night out, some months after they'd last had sex. When they got back, he said she asked him to have sex with her, and despite her being too drunk to give informed consent he did anyway.
He said he'd regretted it ever since, even though she has never mentioned it again and the two of them are still friendly acquaintances.
What would you think of you heard this story? On the one hand I am pleased he told me, it was a long time ago and he obviously feels bad about it (worse than she does by the sound of it). On the other hand he did do it...

She will be nearly 10 buy christmas, can anyone recommend some nice gifts that are not lego, skincare or phones. She is a girly girl please?

She is a nightmare with doing lists, last year only put 2 things she wanted so be nice to get her a few surprises

My ex brother in law has booked a holiday next week for a week. He is a single Dad to my nephew. He had child care sorter, I thought anyway. This childcare turns out to be a bit flakey so he has asked me if I can do a few days to help. It would mean staying at his house cos of their pets. I work full time and have a 6 day week next week. He didn't give ne any warning just turned up this evening to ask

Gs is 3.5 yrs he has special needs. He is still in nappie/pull ups . The problem is he takes out his private parts and he wees over things toys, clothes, furniture, rugs, floor its not possible to watch him constantly also theres times he likes to be alone..

I'm trying to think of clothes that may help. Dungarees, onesie. Possibly the baby vests/body suits. I'm not 100% sure if age 2-3 baby vests would fit him so I need to measure him.

Me/dd can only afford places like George, primark prices I'm trying to find non fleece onesies which seems to he hard.

I'm woundering if there's anything i haven't thought of or maybe other online shops.

Has anyone else noticed an increase in people telling you something and then immediately after saying 'Do you know what I mean?'.
And they say it about every 10 seconds in the conversation.
I do know what they mean. But people I know seem to say it more regularly than ever.
And yes, I am grumpy.

Help me find it?

Every year I stand on the side of a pitch in the rain & wind watching DC do “sport” and shiver/get wet/overheat/feel bedraggled

There is always a stylish mum looking amazing - where is the perfect coat?
i need it to be well below knee length with a decent hood that comes well over my head (blooming Schoeffel and their stingy hoods!)

I have looked at Didriksens, Ilse Jacobsen and Rains - anywhere else to try? I’m thinking Nordic/Scandi brands might be best for this?

(please don’t suggest Seasalt - I’m tall and their long coats aren’t long enough)

Casual wedding next summer, thoughts are hog roast for the main meal. What would you serve as a vegetarian option that fits the same vibe?

I'd appreciate any advice and experiences of this type of menu.

Or is it a really bad idea 😬

We're on holiday at the moment.. Me, DH, and DS3.

I've never panicked so much and the guilt is killing me.

I was sat in the baby pool with DS, who had a zip up life vest on.. we were playing catch, when I heard DH shout from the pool side bar asking me what side I wanted with my lunch. I turned my head to the side to shout over my response, so didnt leave the pool..This interaction was 10-15 seconds tops.

When i turned back around, DS was on his back, the vest had lifted his chest and legs upwards, but his head was under the water. From seeing and getting him out, I was maybe 2 arms lengths away, and had him up so quick.

I feel so awful, the guilt is eating away at me. He was absolutely hysterical. Hes been checked over by the life guard and also by the hotel doctor, and is thankfully fine. But its the image in my mind that's sticking with me, the fear. The thought of seeing him with such panic. I keep crying thinking how its all my fault, how scared he must have been.

Not an aibu, but just feel so incredibly guilty and hoping he forgets this happened, even if it sticks with me for a long time.

My wife and I are at loggerheads on this, so I'm looking for outside opinions...

Bit of background - we're in our 40's and both work, and we have 2 daughters, 15 and 12. I don't ride but my wife and daughters do. We bought our first horse a couple of years ago. I was firmly against it, but my family appealed constantly, and my wife provided a breakdown of the costs, which turned out to be a wild underestimate.

A year later, that horse had some health issues and my wife said he wasn't suitable for our youngest daughter. So, I switched to work full time and we bought a second horse. Since then, the horse related costs have escalated endlessly (vets, van hire, trips to the saddlery...) and I'd guess we now spend around £25k a year on horses.

I've agreed to getting a 4x4 and horse trailer, but the next ask is that my wife wants us to move to a "house with land", so that she can keep the horses at home.

And this is where we clash. Acres of land in the south east is expensive, and would mean either moving into a worse house than we have now, or taking out a huge mortgage. I don't want an equestrian lifestyle. I don't want the extra maintenance, I don't like the smell, and I don't want to live in a rural backwater so I can have animals staring at me through my kitchen window. Am I being unreasonable to say "no, I don't want to spend any more on horses"?

I Am Being Unreasonable - I should agree to my wife's demand. Live a life I don't want, and probably face more escalating costs even with them living with us at home.

I Am NOT Being Unreasonable - I say "enough is enough". We spend enough already and need to draw a line under it.

I do a fair bit of long haul travel and usually wear stretchy M&S trousers and a long sleeve t shirt as the closest I can get to pyjamas without embarrassing my colleagues. However my trousers have seen better days so I need to buy new. I could stick with what I know, but thought I would see if the hive mind has new information. I need short length, soft and comfy, not too pricy as they are for flights only and they need to pack without creasing to buggery. Halara are a possibility, but not sure of quality or packability . Does anyone have any better suggestions?

Name changed because this is potentially outing.

I was at an after-work reception last week. There was mingling. I mingled into a group of four colleagues. All were holding wine. I was holding orange juice.

One of the colleagues - different department, never met him before - asked "Why aren't you drinking?"
I kind of waved my hand, said "Oh, you know, reasons" and laughed. I believe this made it clear I didn't want to discuss the matter without making things awkward.
The guy then said "Intriguing, like what reasons?"

I saw red. I basically listed all the reasons why someone mightn't be drinking alcohol and told him it was inappropriate to ask. I didn't shout or swear and I wasn't overtly aggressive. But my tone was patronising and I took a very forthright kind of stance (unblinking eye contact, standing at full height, no smiles etc.). I didn't give him time to reply, I excused myself from the group and went home shortly afterwards.

Today I got an email from my line manager asking me for a meeting with her and HR people to discuss what went on. Apparently, its a matter of unprofessional behaviour.

I'm not in a union.

I've never had any dealings with HR before. I'd be really grateful to hear anyone's thoughts on this situation. I mean anything - what might happen? What I should do to prepare etc?

I’ve had a fractured relationship with my DIL for about 5 years. We’ve booked a caravan holiday together and seem to be getting on fine.
last night she started sneezing and said she thought hayfever, by tonight she says she feels terrible, is aching from head to toe, pounding head etc. she says she might go home as it’s only an hour away and leave DS and DGC with us.

really? Why can’t she just stay in the caravan bed? She says she just wants night nurse and her home comforts.

what’s your opinion?

I've been struggling with anxiety and agoraphobia since my mum died in Jan. I haven't left my flat for more than a few minutes since her funeral in Feb.

I've just walked around my block six times by myself and didn't panic. Feeling very proud of myself at the moment! I know it's on a tiny thing but it genuinely feels like a huge accomplishment! 🥳🥳😁😁

AIBU to think the trend for Lingerie lace and silk as outer wear is really odd?
Everywhere I look there’s cheap lace appliquéd onto skirts and t shirts.

Then today I saw bra’s, as t-shirt motif’s.

AIBU to think this trend is awful.

Going on holiday with dh and dc (8 and 5)

Dh is in a strop as i have had to bring my work laptop as a back up as a couple of things in my role that the person who is covering may not be able to do due to some family things, person is a close friend of mine so have taken it purely in case I need to do it (would be an hour max) I shouldn't need to and if i do have agreed with line manager I get a days holiday back

Then we both worked half days today, I've wfh and logged on early to finish at 11, also finished packing the cases, sorted the kids bags out, sorted the pets out, done the bins a load of other stuff. Dh got home from his half way (can't wfh) and has moaned that I've done nothing all day as he spent 20 minutes trying to sort thr hive out and had to carry 2 cases down the stairs. We both loaded the car.

Now on a train and all he's done is said how I don't travel well (I travel for my role a lot so know what I am doing!) And that I'm lazy.

Would rather be at work

My husband and I have a long standing group skiing trip with our school friends, every February. This year has been hard financially, particularly for my DH, who is in a low paid job and has little disposable income. He has a little bit of debt and no savings. My financial position is slightly better, and I have always prioritised holidays as a use of my disposable income, unlike my DH.

We have no children and have always had separate finances. Obviously we help each other out where we can.

Our ‘plan’ for next year was a 2 week long haul holiday sometime in Spring. We will have no significant plans prior to this due to DHs finances. I have savings to cover my half of this set aside.

Upon discussing the ski trip today, my DH expressed disappointment that he wouldn’t be able to afford to go, although he wanted to try and ‘make it work’ and would consider going into further debt to make it happen. When questioned about the knock on effect to our planned trip, he stated he would rather go on this group trip than our couples holiday. He also stated he would be ‘irritated’ if I went on the ski trip without him, which I was not significantly considering (for financial reasons), but I don’t think is his right to decide on my behalf. (It’s worth mentioning I attended this trip alone several times before DH and I were serious, and other solo friends attend).

AIBU to be annoyed he would prioritise a group trip he can barely afford, get into further debt OR tell me if he can’t go, I can’t go?

New job starting soon in the City. But I’m a plus size and old-ish… Professional services/tech and I’m in the part that will be external client facing. The other problem is the dress code is ‘smart casual’. What the hell does that even mean?

To make matters worse, I’m late middle age and size 18 though on steady shrink trajectory. Will probably always have enormous boobs and legs but waist will be more defined. That shape makes it tricky to dress trendily in the boxy shapes that are loved by Cos etc.

I don’t want to throw thousands away on clothes that may not fit in a few months or may be the wrong vibe. Help!

What online shops to go for? In the past I was a boring Boden shopper as I knew their clothes fit me. I have also bought from Hobbs, Phase Eight, John Lewis etc and more recently Finery and Nobody’s Child.

Would love to be able to afford Me&Em and Sezanne.

Has HAMs school choice been announced yet? Moneys not on Lambrook!
Would parents of said school need to be informed? Or because they are no longer working royals would they not need to announce?
Will they go state or private? Can they afford the top private schools now? I gather the state won't pay for their kids education?

It’s a September return to Salty Island!

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

Why do parents give their DC names which sound normal but differently spelt to the normal way?

Maddyline for Madeleine
Febee for Pheobe
Pheo for Theo

You have shot yourselves in the foot from day one as you get angry, roll your eyes when others spell their names the normal way. If you gave DC the normal spelling- you wouldn’t react like this

Then when the DC are older they do the same thing and say “it’s spelt ….”

At a wedding on Saturday with people from across the UK and across a pretty wide social spectrum in various ways. MN, I paid attention to the clothes!

Male guests wore:
Kilts, suits, blazers and chinos, tartan trousers, kurtas in a wide range of colours.

Female guests wore:
tea dresses in pastel florals, including cream and ivory, red, green, blue, black, long slinky dresses (mainly girls in late teen early twenties), all white (little girl who literally no one mistook for a bridesmaid because they were in dark navy). Both the groom’s grannies had black hats on. There were hats, fascinators, bows, and unadorned hair.

Literally no one was upset or offended by any of it, because everyone was wearing something special for a special day. The photos were a glorious cacophony of colour and no one was muttering about rules being broken, or upstaging the bride or any of the nonsense that regularly gets trotted out on here.

Groom’s mother wearing a dress that was subject of a lengthy MN thread on suitability a couple of months ago. She looked gorgeous. No one thought it was weird. It was in no way bridal or attention-grabbing.

WEAR WHAT YOU LIKE. It’ll be fine.

I'm getting married in 3 months!

I'm late 40s and have always just tended to stick the basics of good cleanser, night cream/SPF but would really like to look my best.

I've already added in retinol (ROC) into my night time regime. My current moisturiser and SPF already have vit C but I'm about introduce a 10% vit c serum in the mornings.

What else I can do that's going to have an impact for minimising pores and improving skin texture in particular? Lucky to only have a few lines around the eyes.

Should I buy an LED mask for example? I don't want to overdo it and irritate my skin either!

No major budget in mind, if it's good, I can buy it.

Name changed as mortified.
I've been told I need a colonoscopy and will need someone to pick me up and stay with me afterwards overnight. I asked my boyfriend and he made a "joke" about being able to do what he likes to me when sedated.
It repulsed me and I told him it was a bit sinister that he'd said that. We've been together for several years but not living together. He's fine most of the time but occasionally comes out with comments like this which I find unsettling and a massive turn off. He then goes into a mood when I complain. Each time this happens he goes down in my estimation. What would you do?

Will try & keep this brief cos I didn’t get many replies on my longer one and I’d really like to know if I’m overreacting or not. 5 yo DS & I are staying with my dad for a few days. Yesterday while we’re eating dinner he raised his voice (not quite shouted) at him & told him he has no manners and he doesn’t want to eat dinner with him again and that he needs to go straight to bed. DS wouldn’t sit still, kept getting up and burping at the table. All bad behaviour I know and I was dealing with it but my dad butts in. He goes on at him so much DS starts crying. He then suggests I’m not bringing him up properly and not teaching him any manners, says DS is rude for ignoring him earlier that day when he asked him a question (I wasn’t there but he wouldn’t have ignored him, he may have not understood or frozen out of shyness, which happens sometimes). I took DS to bed and went to bed with him and haven’t seen my dad since. I feel extremely unwelcome here now and just want to go home. Problem is we’re in rural Wales and the only way we can leave is to have my dad drive us to the train station. We’re due to stay till Sunday. What would you do? If I end up staying, what do I say to him today? He’ll never apologise to me or ds or admit he was in the wrong.