A chat thread for those who don't like this Labour* *government. 💙

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.

Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5538300-labour-isnt-working-thread-34?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I have a couple of Birkenstocks in different colors but wanted something a bit more structured that could look good both with jeans and work trousers or skirt.
I like chunky sandals but I am quite short and a size 12 so don’t want anything that makes me look too bulky.
I need them to be comfy - budget up to £120.
Brands I usually like are Sezane, Esska, Jonak etc.

I want help! People's tips. I don't understand how people manage. I live in a fairly large old house.

This is my weekday routine

7am wake
7.30 - 8.30 getting kids ready for school (primary)
8.30 - 9.30 rush to office or back home to wfh.
9.30 - 5 work my arse off. Back to back meetings
5.30 pick up kids from after school
6 - 7 dinner
7 - 8 bath, bed
8 - 9 constantly put kids back to bed. Feel like tearing my hair out
9 - 9.30 basic tidy, dishwasher, check uniforms
9.30 - 10.30 try to do bits but in all honesty drink a wine and watch telly

My house is disgusting. I mean real mess. - my bathrooms are gross, dust everywhere. Im sprinting to stay still. Just about keep the show on the road but dusting, hoovering, proper cleans so hard to do

At the weekend, i do what i can. But all boys - primary school - and theyre so hyper. If I dont take them out they're out of control

What are other women doing? I dont know how womens homes look normal when they have young kids and work FT. My house is bad enough so id be embarrassed to let somone pop round. No parents. Husband MIA.

Practical tips? I feel like im missing something.

Bit personal I know, but how do you deal with your bikini line?

I get terrible rash and spots if I shave. Can't afford and can't find a waxer I'm comfortable with.

Was thinking about Nair but worry about the chemicals and safety...

Please let me in on your methods!

Ps I know I don't have to, and enjoy the freedom of a full bush but my hair is dark and it goes quite a way over the thigh/inside hip crease and my little one wants to go swimming more so I need a solution!

As i'm currently going through the most mind-blowing CF situation, and waiting for the courts to open a case against them, please can you point me in the direction to the best CF threads where they got their comeuppance. This will hopefully give me some reassurance that CFs don't always get away with it!

What do you think? How can you have no purpose in life if you aren't a maiden or a mother? I find it very sad that she thinks she doesn't fit in to a "standard family structure".

After being told in her late thirties that she would not be able to conceive, Kim found herself questioning not only her own life trajectory but the stories our culture offers women about identity and worth. Living in London, watching friends move through marriage and motherhood, she found herself asking: if I’m not the maiden, and I’m not the mother, then who am I? What story am I allowed to inhabit?
The profoundly confusing experience of being on a life path that felt somehow off-script: of having perhaps wanted kids and for it not to have happened, to have tried and not succeeded, to have felt relieved and aggrieved at the same time.

‘The words ‘child-free’, ‘childless by circumstance’ and ‘childless by choice’ have grown more common in the lexicon of midlife living in the last 10 years or so. They arrived with us as an essential act of dissent, a long overdue demand for recognition from the 20%+ of women (and men) who will enter their 40s without the standard family structures, who have found ourselves navigating a life we perhaps didn’t necessarily expect or choose. Facing challenges, opportunities and griefs that too often go unseen, and which are too often denigrated.

Moved recently and tiles in bathroom and kitchen are a very boring white. I'm not in a position to change them yet, keep seeing ads for stick on tiles on social media. Are they any good? Hard-wearing etc?

This is driving me crazy! I have name changed for this! Someone gave me perspective before I blow up (lighthearted).
So me and my DP work full-time Monday to Friday (39hour week for both of us-sometimes overtime involved also) my SIL works 2 shifts a week! Not always the same days. Now here is my AIBU. Every time she is due to go into work she texts into the family WhatsApp. “Work tomorrow…have a nice day in the sun!” Or I have work tomorrow…I’m so tired. She’ll send pictures of herself with her uniform on and a sad face with a caption…”do I have to go??” MIL feeds it with “oh poor you” “or you are great” or I’ll make dinner collect it on your way home etc etc. Meanwhile, myself and DP
are sitting here so confused thinking…WE GO IN EVERY DAY!! AIBU to post me going to work every day?!

Last week or so.

1.man decides to dive head first into a low pool. Immediately paralysed. He’s paralysed , no insurance so go fund me obvs

1. boy has insurance, insurance said no motorbikes, went on a motor bike, insurance withdrew. Go find me

man dives into pool , shallow end no insurance see above

man goes out gets wankered and gets in a fight, one punch hit and he’s in icu bit no insurance so he’s stuck there

How hard is it to book insurance when you book the holiday to open a second tab and order the insurance?

Just go to Google and type ‘gofud no insurance’ there are thousands.

I just don’t get it I have stage 4 cancer and I get insured by ‘insure with ‘

I live in an area that has a red weather warning for extreme heat for the next two days.

Today the office was sweltering. It’s been 35° minimum all day, but in the office it’s been closer to 40°. We’ve all been unable to function.

We had a “friendly reminder” that the dress code still applies - dresses to mid calf, no shorts, shirts must cover to the mid arm.

AIBU to say fuck it and turn up in a T-shirt and shorts tomorrow? We have no client contact whatsoever, I will not see a single service user tomorrow. The only people I will see are my coworkers.

My line manager has said she’s fine with it, but if the “big bosses” walk in (from their air conditioned office!), we may get in trouble.

Surely the worst they’ll do is send me home, which is a win for me 😂

So I'm an NHS employee and like I imagine many others are in a bit of a tricky position given the school closures this week. My children's primary school has never been renowned for great communication... so yesterday we received an email first thing that acknowledged other schools are closing this week due to weather but they were going to remain open. Then an email sent at 5:45pm last night stating that having reviewed the weather and guidance from the local council they would now be shut today and tomorrow, which includes the breakfast club that my kids attend from 7:45 so that I'm able to go to work.

I provide input into wards (but not ward staff like nursing if that makes sense) so I can't work remotely other than attending teams calls if they're booked in. I have no local family at all (nearest is 150 miles away), DH working away already this week and the only childcare in our village is that provided by the school (so is also closed). I told my line manager straight away that I will need to be at home to provide childcare today and she is saying that I need to take today as A/L because I was "given notice" of the school closing, but this feels really unreasonable as I don't think telling parents the evening before does give any realistic time to seek alternative childcare (and which I have no option for anyway!) I know the other parents at the school who work for the same NHS body have been told it definitely comes under special (carers) leave, but was wondering before I challenge my line manager's decision whether others in the NHS are being told to take it either as A/L or carers leave?

Of course the irony is I would much rather be in work today where there is air con as opposed to stuck in our boiling house with two very overheated and overtired young children, but hey ho! 🤣

https://nordace.com/en/product/siena-pro-tote-bag-plus/

I need a tote bag to travel with, that will fit under the seat on a plane, that I can zip closed so stuff doesn’t fall out.
Sometimes will be work trip, so needs to fit my laptop. Sometimes will be holiday carryon so all the usual holiday stuff.
I have a Nordace backpack which is great for work, so thought this might be good. But is it too functional, and in fact, hideous?

Any other suggestions for around £200? Please don’t suggest Longchamp. Have a teenage daughter.

DD21 has a new boyfriend who is 27. Recently met him - can't fault him, thought he was lovely.
Was out for lunch with a group of close friends yesterday, of course they were asking questions about him. Mentioned how old he was in answer to a question and it went down a bit weird - they were quite disapproving and saying it was a worry he is dating a 21 year old, says a lot he can't find someone his own age, they are at total different stages of life etc. One said she wouldn't allow it if it was her daughter! Lots of glances at each other, you know when you are very aware a topic is about to be discussed behind your back...

To be honest I hadn't thought it was an issue at all, if anything I thought a much better fit for DD to be with someone a bit older and more mature as she's ended up hurt a more than once by lads her own age (not saying she wouldn't be hurt by someone older). I do accept early twenties and late twenties are quite different phases of life, but DD has always been mature and independent. Obviously she is still a 21 year old, likes her friends and going out here and there, but she lives away, works, is doing a masters etc.

I know it doesn't matter what others think obviously, but naturally it has worried me a little bit. What would you think if it was your DD?

Hands up if you can’t sleep either!! 🙆🏼‍♀️

Seriously though, spend all day exhausted then when I get into bed it’s so bloody hot I literally feel wide awake now.

Contemplated sleeping in my car tonight with the aircon.

This really is no fun is it!! Jealous of anyone who has proper AC installed!

DH trusted his brother with his Clubcard employee card. He gave it to his partner to use as she was doing the food shops. She’s been caught twice stealing with a trolley full and hubby is now being investigated at work. Apparently BIL knew she had a habit with stealing as he already pre warned her not to use the card if she is going to be stealing. I should add that they are very comfortable and don’t need to be stealing. She is the other woman and I have never been able to gel with her. Now i can’t bare the thought of being around her even more. DH is in a management role so i can imagine they are going to take this very seriously.

I feel like DH is downplaying it all because he doesn’t want to rock the boat but I am fuming!!!

Am I over reacting? Hubby says he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d over react. She’s potentially put my husband at risk of losing his job.

Whenever my mum or dad are talking to me they refer to each other as "mum/dad" but I think that if my kids are around they should use "nanny/grandad" (their choice - I don't care what they call themselves). Or at the very least say "your mum/dad" so the kids are clear who they're talking about. Eg if my mum is talking about my dad she'd say "Dad'll be home soon" and then my kids get confused thinking their dad is coming home.

Inevitably they often forget when speaking to their grandkids as well and will refer to themselves as "mummy/daddy".

It's not a huge deal but it annoys me so much every time they do it.

This

Would you be embarrassed to serve it at a party?

To say it clearly i let her choose from the menu what she wants. My kid is a very hungry kid😆 and eats faster than me and i need to sometimes buy her adult menu bcs kid menus here are literally portions for a tiny mouse😆 but me my self i dont like the tough Of others spit in my food or fork and yea.. including my own kid, pluss i think its nice to learn her that not everyone wants to share their food and that u should eat from your own plate because if she likes it then she wants another bite and start looking at your plate like she hasn’t been feed even if she has food on her plate, because its not nice to ask for someone else's plate. Especially since i let her choose whatever she wants from menu’s besides from very expensive dishes 😆

To ask you all what type of clothing and things you take on AI holidays?
Due to circumstances beyond our control, our usual summer holiday has been cancelled so now we are looking at an all inclusive to somewhere hot.
It’s been a while since I did Spain as a child and Im no longer a svelte 16 year old, doing karaoke and spending all day lounging by the pool, topping up my tan.
I know what I’m doing for DC, lots of swimming shorts and T-shirts, a couple of nice shirts and short sets for evening meals.
Im not very confident in my body and I prefer full swimsuits with shorts, rather than the tiny bikinis I would have had 20 years ago. I’m a lot fatter now and I know I don’t have the confidence to sit on a sun lounger in just a swimming costume, I will also do some beach trips and maybe a day with my family outside the resort.
Do I get cycling shorts? (Chub rub is real, but please don’t suggest snag - they actually drive me nuts) or proper denim shorts or linen ones??
I also don’t really know what to wear for evenings, are sarongs still a thing? Is it still ok to wear a kaftan and a floppy straw hat? Where do you buy these things now?

Help!

It’s going to be 32 degrees where we are today, for the fourth day running.

If you’re in a heatwave area are your dc going to school? Is it closed? Our school are encouraging children to go in but giving the option to finish early.

Yabu - children are staying home
Yqnbu - children are going to school

I bumped into a colleague I haven’t seen for a few months last week and she asked me when I was due. I’m not pregnant.

I had a tfmr in early May at 12 weeks. I had very bad pregnancy sickness and put on a stone during the pregnancy, which I haven’t yet lost, so I can see why she asked it, but I was absolutely mortified. I was with a group of other colleagues (none of whom know about what happened) and I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I had been starting to feel better about the mc but this has set me right back - I’ve been crying non stop since it happened. I’ve been able to wfh this week because of the heat but im
literally dreading going back to work and facing all these people again. I had been kidding myself that no one had noticed but now feel like they’ve probably all been looking at my body and speculating. I feel totally miserable. Not sure what I’m looking for here - probably just some sympathy!

My ds’s don’t go out with friends. They may have undiagnosed asd but they are happy enough. At school they have social groups but this doesn’t extend to out of school activities. Neither of them is fussed - they spend their time on iPads, pcs. Summer is approaching. They are too old for holiday clubs. Should I be arranging outings for them? They would probably be ok if I did but wonder if they are too old. They are 15 and 12. Just really not sure what to do

My now 3.5 year old was born with a sacral dimple. Checked at birth and was considered nothing to worry about.

It looks like it’s getting a bit bigger now though, which obviously could just be because he’s getting bigger/skin growing etc. but I do wonder if it should be being monitored by a GP?

Has anyone experience with sacral dimples and how normal it is for them to change over time? And in my shoes would you be booking a GP appointment?

I’m struggling with this as I feel professionally I should be able to identify this but also wonder if it’s me BU.

Try to keep it brief - been in a relationship for 4 years. Live separately, have separate children. He wants to blend and get married and live together etc, I absolutely do not, my kids have had enough turmoil and I like our settled lives.

My children see their Dad 2 nights a week, I usually see my partner. We’ve had our real ups and downs over the past 6 months - jealousy from him, resulted in me calling it a day but to remain friends. He immediately went on dates etc. we decided to give it another try.

Anyway to try and make this quicker, he seems to have a real problem if I arrange things with my friends on one of my child free nights. Last night my friend had a curry night. He wasn’t happy. When I’ve read back over my messages I feel sick, it reads like something one of the survivors I work with would have shown me. Basically hostility from him because I wanted to stay at my friends until 9:30 and constant approval seeking from me. How did I end up here?

My 23 year old daughter has just announced that she is getting married next year.

I am completely shocked.

Surely it’s not normal anymore to marry that early.

I tried to be joyous and congratulate her but would you be happy?

I want to know why she wants to marry this young.

I know she is an adult and what she does is nothing to do with me but I am really shocked.