I've been at my job for 3 years and recently raised to my manager that I do more than is in my JD and would like my salary to be reviewed. They agreed and also said they would like to change some aspects of my JD. I was then informed that because my JD and salary are changing I will need to re-interview for my job and it will be externally advertised too.

I have a job interview for another job of much higher pay for similar work, I'm in the mindset now of fuck my current job and put all my time outside of work towards preparing for this other interview.

Any advice or thoughts on this??

I'm so annoyed and humiliated that I'll possibly lose my current job to a better candidate

I am 42 and have recently realised something slightly absurd. While searching for shoes for my toddler who has wide feet, I discovered an entire world of beautiful, thoughtfully designed children’s shoes made specifically for different foot shapes. Wide fit, barefoot, flexible soles, proper toe boxes, soft materials… endless options. Stylish too.

And it made me wonder: why do so many adults, especially women, still accept uncomfortable shoes as normal?

Somewhere along the way, we start squeezing ourselves into narrow trainers, stiff leather loafers, pointy boots and “they’ll soften eventually” heels, even though we would never knowingly buy painful shoes for a child whose feet are still developing. We are prioritise comfort, movement and foot health for babies, yet for adults discomfort is almost treated as part of being stylish.

I’ve now realised I have mild bunions and fairly wide feet myself, which explains why so many shoes have always felt slightly wrong. And honestly, I’m tired of “breaking shoes in” and hoping for the best.

So now I’m on a mission to find genuinely stylish shoes for:
– work
– toddler chasing/playgrounds
– exercise
– wide feet

And ideally not the traditional “sensible shoe” options that somehow always look either corporate or orthopedic. No offence to Clarks, but I refuse to believe comfortable stylish shoes for adults only exist in one aisle of one shop.

Surely there must be brands making beautiful shoes shaped like actual human feet? Do they exist?

My baby is 10 months old and from 7 months he’s displayed various forms of stimming, including: head shaking, tensing, slapping, panting, rubbing head against neck, groaning doing, repetitive huh showing, wrist and feet twirling, blinking etc
Some of these are very frequent and noticeable. I have seen that stimming doesn’t necessarily mean ASD but even if babbling, eye contact, responding to name and gesturing seem to be developing fairly well/too early to tell. I find it hard to believe that this level of stimming could be present in a neurotypical child, but I don’t know as he’s my first. But I don’t see these behaviours in other babies. My question really is did anyone experience extensive stimming in a baby that later seemed to be neurotypical. I’m feeling quite confused by the behaviour he is displaying. Also feel the need to note ASD will not impact how much I love or interact with my child! I’m just trying to be well informed so I can do anything I can to support him from as young as age as possible.

So I walk in the post office and there’s a big queue,I would say around 10 people in front.
A lady was in front of me…so I walked to the back of the shop and sat down on a chair.
When the lady was next to be served I walked into the queue and told the woman behind her that I was behind this lady and that I had just been sitting down as I didn’t want to stand …am I jumping a queue here ?
Is this acceptable ?
Obviously I wasn’t this person..I was the woman in the queue being told that I needed to let her in front of me…I wasn’t happy at all.
The man behind me said “well I can’t be bothered to queue either,shall I go for a coffee and come back in a hour and walk to the front”
It made me laugh ….

I bought a tiramisu from a supermarket yesterday. It was maybe 10 cm squared.

DH doesn’t usually buy desserts, he prefers to make them fresh. So I buy for myself and offer him some and sometimes he says yes. I think of them as mine though I’m usually happy to share. We don’t have a dessert every night.

I ate about 20% of it yesterday - it was delicious but it’s pretty rich and few spoonfuls are enough. I cut another 20% today after dinner for myself. I reminded DH we had tiramisu if he wanted some.

Baby was crying so I rushed through the tiramisu and went to settle them. I came back to find the rest of the tiramisu had gone! DH said I had eaten “half” (!) (Tbf he probably didn’t know I had some yesterday) so he had the other “half”. I’d been thinking I was going to save some for tomorrow. I’ve just looked at the box and it says it is 4 portions.

Is it fair to think of the desserts as mine? (DH is very generous with his baking but he’d definitely comment if I scoffed down most of his biscuits or whatever.)

Was it fair for DH to eat the rest of what I thought was my dessert?

Would it have been fair for me to have three portions (one yesterday, one today, one tomorrow) while DH has just one?

Semi-lighthearted. I’ll provide a bit more context later.

A couple of local charity shops near me both constantly have signs up outside on an A-Board, saying that they are not taking donations. However, both of these have very little stock inside, and are both very overpriced. For example, a worn, very bobbly Primark jumper for £7, and a Boohoo polyester dress for £12.

One in particular is just depressing to go into; I went in the other day for the first time in two months and some of the overpriced clothes that were there then were still hanging there, still for sale. The rails were also pretty empty. The board was outside as usual requesting no donations. There were 5 members of staff in the shop.

I really don't get it; surely it would be far better, and raise far more money, if they had more stock out, and priced it at lower prices for a quicker turnover. I really can't see the shop I went in yesterday raising much money at all, as there's never anything in there really to buy.

I'm sure some posters will reply saying it's a 'charity shop bashing thread', and yes, it is! I want to support charities and want to buy pre owned items but shops like this aren't exactly going to raise any money!

Image incoming…

She keeps re-reading Harry Potter, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Skandar, Crookhaven and Rick Riordan's books (Percy Jackson, Magnus Chase and Kane Chronicles), Kay's Anatomy and Inventions.

I promised her a couple of new books, so I need to deliver!

We had an argument about this last night and again this morning.
He has sleep apnea, diagnosed and he has a machine that stops his snoring, it only works if he lays on his side, on his back he still snores.
He only got diagnosed with this after years of me complaining about the lack of sleep i was getting because of the snoring.
A family holiday abroad made him realise how bad it was, because of the layout his teen daughter also told him how horrific it was.
We both work and have to be out of the door by 6.50am Monday-Friday. I work 30 hours but my office is a 10 minute walk, he works 40 hours but commutes an hour each way.
I have insomnia, I take pills have done since I was 18, now 44.
To fall asleep I need a dark and quiet room. I like to be in bed ready to sleep by 10.30.
My husband likes to stay up, until gone midnight some nights but normally 11.30ish.
He has started listening to podcasts, this is the issue.
He’ll come to bed at 10 with me but doesn’t see why I can’t stand him laying next to me, on his back with headphones in listening to podcasts.
My issue is, the light from his phone, I can still hear it regardless of headphones and he tends to doze and start snoring, last night nudged him awake to be told.. Fine, I’ll put my mask on but I’m still listening to it.
He kept dozing off, snoring starts because he’s on his back, it was so frustrating to lay next to while I’m trying to sleep.
I eventually got up and said.. Fuck this. I’ll sleep in the spare room from now on and you can come and get me when you actually want to go to sleep.
His argument is that number 1 he has less spare time than me to chill out listening to podcasts. And 2 that he already made a compromise by strapping a mask to his face every night.
He thinks I should learn to tolerate a little phone light and noise in return, who is being unreasonable here?

My dd is not coming home from uni this summer, even though the holidays 4 months long. All my friends’ children are; all over social media I see posts about not long until they come home and his all these parents can’t wait. We had such a lovely summer last year - a holiday, spa days , lunches and shopping. I had it in my head I’d get two or three more summers until she had a full time job and would move away.
I was getting so excited and now I feel so down about it. I keep thinking I am literally the person paying for her rent in her uni city and I have paid to make myself this unhappy.

Tell a joke that made you laugh.

I heard a good one recently.

A little toddler runs up to her Grandma, and says

"Grandma, pick me up."

Grandma says

"Oh, I'm sorry, darling, I can't pick you up any more, I'm getting an old lady now."

Granddaughter says

"What do want an old lady for? You've got meeee!"

Made me laff anyway!

AIBU to think my MIL could really do a bit of tidying when she is at our house looking after DC?

Just got home from a business trip and DH had asked her if she could help put DC to bed and supervise until we both got home. I come in from a day that started at 5am and a 3 hour journey home to find the house in a complete tip, dirty dishes, dogs not been let out, DC school bags, swimming bags with wet clothes in etc all just dumped on the floor, she’s lying on the sofa reading.

Now I totally understand that she’s doing us a favour and doesn’t have to do anything…but would you do that? I know I definitely wouldn’t, and if I had some time to kill once the kids are in bed I’d help out by at least sorting out the mess which had occurred on my watch!

Now have to start a major tidy up and I’m so exhausted 😔, and DC are complaining that they haven’t had enough to drink and are thirsty in bed and need water!

My own mum would have swooped in and everything would be done and spotless and a cup of tea offered on arrival.

There's a school Mum that I've known for a few years. She's recently been acting strange around me. I suspect I know why and I'll explain shortly. I've also noticed that the other mums who are close with her have also being acting strange with me. They are giving off 'mean girl' vibes and it has me pondering what on earth has been said to them.

We all see eachother a lot due to clubs, parties, school runs etc. I'm happy to say a pleasant hi/bye, keep it simple and will continue to do so.

They have all been incredibly hostile for a while. I've ignored it and focused on my own happenings as I have too many real problems in my life to give this too much head space however, they are really rude and it's getting a bit weird.

I suspect this behaviour has stemmed from me missing the 'main culprits' childs' party. Of course it wasn't a great thing to do. I mixed up my days thinking the party was on a Sunday when it was actually the Saturday. I seen the bday Mum make a fb post, on the Sat and realised my mistake. I instantly messaged the Mum to apologise. Bday Mum didn't respond.

In my defence, I had 5 different kids parties that month, including my own child's to organise. I was 4 weeks into a new career and up to my eyeballs with training. I have a demyelinating chronic disease that flared up and hospitalised me for 2 days that same week requiring some invasive treatment and my head was all over the place trying to juggle everything. A mixed up in days was an honest mistake given the stress I was under.

I then noticed I was deleted on fb by bday Mum and a few others. Fine, we weren't that close so it's understandable. They also left some joint WhatsApp groups.

Then came the more hostile behaviour from bday Mum. 'Growling' acting 'standoffish' going to weird lengths to avoid contact and interactions. The other parents in her circle started behaving the same way towards me.

It's all a bit bizarre really and I won't be acting on it because I'ts all very batshit and have real life problems to deal with.

But aibu to find this all very childish and unnecessary? I really can't understand why grown woman would feel the need to act like this, especially the ones I don't really know and are following what the bday Mum had told them.

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

Name changed for this, as absolutely don't want it linked to my regular posts.
Last weekend, a male friend of mine sent me a sexually graphic video (him masturbating to climax) totally out of the blue.
For context, this is a friend of 6 years, 5 of which he has had a girlfriend.
Because of past trauma (including being raped as a child and, separately, as an adult), I totally freaked out over this and reported him to the police (after contacting his girlfriend, then blocking him on everything).
Have I overreacted?

Am I really asking for the moon on a stick??

I'm apple shaped and V neck tees suit me. However, all I'm seeing right now are crew necks. They look fine when I'm wearing an open jacket over them, but otherwise I just look ... square.

To make matters more difficult, I'm very long waisted and many tops out there right now only come to my belly button. Not a good look.

About 3 or 4 years ago, m&s were selling exactly what I was looking for - v neck tees in long length (but not long on me) in a cotton / viscose (I think) mix that draped really nicely. They washed really well and are only now starting to look a bit faded.

But I can't find anything similar. So - can anyone help?? Slightly longer than standard V neck tees - good basics that go with anything. Thank you!!

Can anyone recommend a skirt co-ord set? I like the one attached but it's pretty spenny, and tbh I'd just rather not pay that much.

I'm specifically looking for a straight skirt, pref jersey, and ideally with a matching top.

Has anyone got one? I keep getting this one advertised to me, which made me think it was a popular choice but I'm not finding anything online!

https://oglmove.com/products/2pcs-set-striped-spaghetti-brami-low-rise-striped-midi-skirt#1

If you're staying in all day, do you still get up and do hair and makeup (I don't mean done up to the nines) or do you not bother? Are you always ready to face the world or do you only "get ready" if you're leaving the house?

DD6 is quite strong in her understanding of books and stories and I've been reading my own childhood favourites to her for a few years now- Narnia, Five Children and It, The Borrowers etc. She's not particularly sensitive and not prone to get upset by stories usually.

About a week ago I pulled A Little Princess off the shelf and thought that the language is quite complex but I think she'll like the story.

Anyway, we got to the chapter where Sara's Dad dies and she's removed from her own birthday party, stripped of all her possessions and sent to live in the attic as a servant and she was absolutely devastated. First off furious, ranting about Miss Minchin, and then in floods of tears. She said she hates the book so I asked if she wanted to stop and pick something else but now she needs to know what happens next, so she's furious with me too. 😳

Oops.

I am an animal lover, I am especially a dog person meaning I like wolves too if we’re talking wildlife. My mum has taken this to mean I’m obsessed with wolves - I’m really not.

Every year at Christmas she buys me something wolf related … it started off as huge framed pictures (often featuring native Americans too 😂) and in the end I had so many massive pictures piled up the spare room that I made a point of telling her I am no longer buying wall pictures as I don’t like a lot of stuff on the walls and I’ve ran out of space. She got the hint and stopped buying me pictures … instead she started buying me huge blankets, fleece bed covers etc, again featuring wolves howling at the moon, native Americans, wolf eyes staring out of dark trees etc 🤦‍♀️

I ended up with a big pile of fleece blankets that were just sat there collecting dust. In the end I asked her if she wanted any blankets as I’m getting rid of loads as I have far too many and don’t use them. She got the hint.

Now … as my birthday this year was approaching she asked me what size clothing I was. I told her. I joked to DH that I’ll probably end up with a wolf fleece jacket for my birthday … I was wrong … I got 3 wolf fleece jackets for my birthday.

I don’t get it!!! I’m in my 30s, she sees me every week … surely she can see that I don’t wear stuff like this?? It was funny at first but now its getting frustrating. She gets upset and offended easily so I’ve tried to treat lightly but come on …

What would you do?? Or do I just carry on accepting this stuff and lying that I like it to keep the peace?

I have a good friend. I like her a lot and spend a lot of time with her. I also have lots of other closer friends and a large loving family, some of whom have care needs.

My friend is only close to me. She has recently got divorced and now I have become the person she rings in a crisis...broken down, forgot my purse, sprained my ankle, had a row with someone...they are all genuine crisis but I cannot be her next of kin.
I already have too many people who need me including my dh and kids.

I have had to tell her I do not want to be listed as her next of kin for health. I dont know how to tackle this?

I do feel for her cos she has no other friends or family but thats not my fault? AIBU

I’m MOB later in the year but my plan to lose weight/get in shape is clearly not going to work out in time and I haven’t a clue what to wear that will be appropriate and feel ‘right’. I’d like to be both elegant and comfortable but that seems like an impossible combination.

I’m 5’2, a 16-18 with big boobs. I hate my arms and don’t have good legs. I don’t mind my boobs but realise they shouldn’t be taking centre stage on my child’s big day 😳

I don’t really suit the usual MOB type outfits - I did get a jumpsuit but it shows too much arm and I’m worried about going to the loo! I’ve bought nude sandals and clutch that I really like and they should go with most things.

Can anyone suggest something that ticks these boxes:

• Covers arms to at least elbow but doesn’t look wintery
• Long enough to hide legs but not so long I fall over it
• Goes with my shoes and bag
• Wedding colour scheme is green so I need to either avoid or complement
• Budget up to £150ish

Thank you!

We have lived in our home for 30 years and bought up 3 children here. God at times it’’s been tough ~ family life and marriage, but somehow we made it.
Anyway grown up kids all live fairly close and visit the ‘family home’ often.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with some health problems and have to think about if I can’t drive…we are in a tiny village/ hamlet with nothing and near nothing.
We really have to be sensible and move, and if I’m honest, I’m bored being in the same place now.
Before we lived here, for forever, my life had been spent moving between so many homes.
So it makes sense , it’s a bit exciting ~ but I am floored by the emotions and the memories I’ll be leaving behind. Literally I cry every time I think about the children as babies and toddlers and all the events and parties we have had over the years. Them on the primary school bus, playing in the Wendy house….it’s endless.
I actually have nightmares about the first night in a new house realising I’ve made a mistake that I can never put right and never get back to this house.
I cry when I think about another family here, who won’t know what all the rooms, and garden and things meant to us and what happened in them.
In the rest of my life I love challenge, work in a difficult job and think I’m pretty resilient ~ but this just makes me fall apart. I’ve faced illness, nearly getting divorced and family members dying young ~ I can face things ~ but his is actually making me ill.
Has anyone left a family home they were really attached to, and how did it go? Xxx

I’m a nosy (English teacher of a…) year 6 parent.
Any idea what was in this year’s SATs papers? Any of the spellings? Sort of thing in the reading paper? Child can’t remember and not going to pester on at them to remember just because I am so keen to know! :)

Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!